Still of the Night Page 6

  So much had been lost.

  But there's always hope, a voice seemed to whisper; and above her, the clouds parted for an instant, a star blinking in the night. There's always hope.

  Then, just as quickly, the clouds moved again and obliterated the light. Or maybe the star had never been there at all.

  "I never slept with her, Jen."

  Jenny whirled around, her gaze colliding with Connor's. "But you told me—"

  "I didn't tell you anything." He sat up, swinging around to sit on the edge of the bed. "You accused me, and I didn't deny it. But that doesn't change the fact that I never betrayed you. At least, not like that."

  Confusion and anger flooded through her, her mind trying to sort out the meaning of his words. "Why would you have wanted me to believe something like that?" She took a step forward, then back again, the movement a reflection of her twisting insides.

  "I didn't want to hurt you, Jen." He lifted a hand, then dropped it. "It's just that your accusation presented the perfect way out."

  "Of our marriage." Her stomach sank into her feet, her heart ripped in two all over again.

  "No." He stood up, his voice harsh. "I didn't want to end our marriage. That was all you. But then things started heating up"—he paused, considering his words—"at work."

  "And so you pretended to have an affair." She backed up again, feeling the windowsill against her hip.

  "I let you believe what you thought was true."

  He moved toward her, but she held up a hand to stop him. "Andy saw you."

  Connor's jaw tightened, and his face hardened with an emotion she wasn't certain she could identify. "Andy had his own reasons for what he did. But it had nothing to do with the truth. I never slept with Amy Whitaker. Hell, I never even touched her."

  Jenny nodded. It seemed like the thing to do. But her mind was still having trouble grasping the truth. "So you're saying that you purposefully let me believe that you were having an affair because of problems at work." She was repeating things, but maybe if she said them often enough, she'd find the logic.

  "Look, I wanted to keep you safe from people like the man in your living room."

  The dead man. The issue of infidelity suddenly seemed trifling.

  "Then Andy was right. You're on the take." The words were out before she had a chance to think about them, and when she saw the hurt flit across his face she immediately wished them back. "I shouldn't have said that."

  "You have every right. I haven't exactly given you a load of reasons to believe in me of late." There was truth in his words, but still she regretted the fact that she'd hurt him.

  "No." She shook her head. "I just said that because I'm confused. I didn't believe Andy when he told me, and I don't believe him now. Whatever is going on, whatever has driven you to these lengths, I refuse to believe it has anything to do with you breaking the law"

  "Thanks for that." His smile held a hint of self-reproach.

  "Connor, the issue has never been about me trusting you. It's about you trusting me." She tipped back her head, her frustration cresting. "If you'd confided in me instead of pushing me away, then none of this would have happened."

  "I told you. I wanted to keep you safe." He shrugged, his face contorted with stubborn pride.

  "Well, it didn't work, did it? They came after me just the same. All you did was throw away your marriage for some sense of misbegotten machismo." She clenched her fists, fighting for control. "We're supposed to have been partners, Connor. And that means sharing. The good and the bad. I knew what you did for a living when I married you. Come on, Connor, you've been living on the edge all your life. I know that, because I was there. It's part of why I love you. And you seriously sell me short when you treat me like some sort of porcelain princess you can keep on a shelf by the bed."

  She stopped, tears filling her eyes, then added, "I want to help you. But I can't do anything if you shut me out. That's why I walked away from the marriage. And I can't come back until you learn that I can be trusted, too."

  She turned to face the window again, surprised to find that the sun was coming up, its pale rays giving the gray winter clouds a faintly pinkish cast.

  "I'm sorry, Jen." Connor's voice rumbled against her ear, stirring the hair around her face. His strong arms encircled her, and despite her doubt, she leaned back into his strength.

  "I know." She sighed. "But it doesn't fix things between us."

  "So ... it's over?" He sounded so despondent, like a little boy.

  "I didn't say that." She turned to face him, still within the circle of his arms. "It's just going to take time, and commitment, and a lot of things you're not going to like very much. But if it's important enough—"

  He covered her lips with a finger. "It is. Believe me. If there's a chance, then whatever it takes, I'll do it." He bent his head to kiss her, but she shook her head, stepping away.

  "Then let's start with the truth about what's happening here. Until we get to the bottom of this, there's not much sense in planning for the future. You know?"

  "Fair enough." He moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "I'll tell you everything I know. But first I want to know about your conversation with Andy?

  The question took her by surprise. "I'm not sure that it matters."

  "It matters a lot," Connor said, his face gone strangely still. "You said he told you I'm on the take." He grimaced. "When did he tell you that?"

  "Yesterday. I called him as soon as I got out of the apartment. From the bathroom at Bloomingdale's."

  Connor smiled.

  "It seemed safe." She knew she sounded defensive, but there was nothing she could do about it. "I told him about Sandy, and the killers. And he promised to get Homicide over there immediately. Then I told him I'd meet him at the station, and he said it would be easier for me if we met somewhere else." She stopped, frowning. "I didn't really like the idea, but I figured he knew what was best."

  Connor was glowering, the muscle in his jaw working. "Go on."

  "So I met him at a diner on Lex. I gave him the details of what happened, and he assured me that the police were on the job."

  "He specifically said that?"

  Again the question seemed strange, but she answered anyway. "Yes. He mentioned canvassing and forensics. And then, later, on the phone, he assured me that officers were contacting Sandy's family. All I had to do was go home and wait for him there."

  "And that didn't strike you as odd?"

  "I'm not sure what you mean. He said I could give a statement in the morning. It seemed reasonable. Of course, I wasn't exactly clearheaded."

  "I see." He nodded, but didn't add anything to clarify.

  She blew out a breath. "Look, if we're going to do this together, you can't just say something like that without explanation. I need to know what you're thinking. So explain to me what you see."

  His gaze was somber. "Andy was lying, Jen. He never called anyone in. I was there. At the apartment."

  Realization hit with the impact of a falling elevator. "You called me."

  He nodded. "I was on my way to the apartment when I saw a couple of Nico's henchmen heading into the building. I turned to go, figuring I'd wait and follow them when they came out. But then I saw the light in the window."

  "But you didn't know it was me."

  "Who else could it have been?" He shrugged. "Besides, you and Sandy both walked in front of the window a couple of times. I warned you about keeping the drapes shut."

  There was a sense of familiarity in his admonition, and, despite the gravity of the conversation, she smiled. "So you called."

  "A voice from the grave." His expression was wry, but his eyes remained serious. "I just thought, if I could warn you before they got there ..." He stopped, staring down at his hands. "I should have come up. Maybe I would have been able to do something."

  "No." She shook her head to reinforce her words. "You’d have been too late. The phone rang at the same time as the doorbell. There was no time. And
if you hadn't called, I'd have been dead, too."

  "I was there, you know, watching you on the fire escape. But the guy was too far up for me to get a good shot. I've never been so scared in all my life. But when he hit the ground, I managed to distract him long enough for you to get away."

  "How?"

  "I knocked over some garbage cans. It bought you time. By the time he got past, you were out of sight."

  "So you saved me again."

  "No, Jen." He lifted his head to meet her gaze. "You saved yourself. I was really proud of you."

  Again, she felt a swell of unfamiliar emotion—pleasure mixed with pain. Everything was so confusing. "You said that Andy was lying. How do you know that?"

  "Because when I went to the apartment it was empty."

  "But Sandy's body was there," she insisted, trying to make sense of this latest turn of events.

  "No, Jen. It wasn't."

  "But I saw her lying there." She frowned, confusion warring with anger. "It wasn't my imagination."

  "Of course not." His eyes were filled with regret. "I never meant to imply that. Look, I had to wait to go up there. First to make sure you got away safely, and then to see what Mutt and Jeff were up to."

  "Wait, you said they were somebody’s henchmen. So you recognized them?"

  "Yeah they work for Nico Furello. Sammy Lacuzo and Reggie Anzio. Sammy's the guy we left at the foot of your stairs. Reggie's the one from the fire escape. Anyway, Reggie went back inside, and about fifteen minutes later the two of them emerged carrying a large duffel."

  "Sandy" Jenny hardly dared to breathe.

  "Yeah. I started to follow them, but I wanted to get a good look at the apartment first. There was something I needed. Something important. Look, what matters is that I was there at least forty minutes—more than enough time for the police to have arrived. No one came. And even if they had, there wouldn't have been anything to find. The place had been sanitized."

  "So that means that Andy—" She broke off, unable to finish the thought. Andy was Connor's friend. Her friend. "Why would he lie to me?" She sank down on the bed beside Connor, grateful when he took her hand.

  "Because he's the one on the take, Jen. Not me. I've known about it for a while. But I didn't have any proof."

  "Is that why you faked your death? To get away from Andy?"

  "Not entirely. Although I guess it was part of it. Maybe this will be easier to understand if I start at the beginning."

  She nodded, waiting, not certain she really wanted to hear it, but determined to honor his decision to share his world with her.

  "For years now we've been trying to infiltrate Anthony Furello's organization. To set it up so that we can take him down. But getting the old man's trust is next to impossible. The closest we were able to manage was to establish a relationship with his son, Nico."

  "When was this?"

  "The summer before you and I broke up."

  She nodded, saying nothing, but it explained a lot.

  "It started out just me, working undercover for Nico. Then, when I felt like I'd gained his trust, I brought in Andy. The idea was that with two of us on board, there was a better chance that one of us could wind up with something on the old man."

  "But it didn't work." It was a statement, not a question, but she needed to say something. To keep herself grounded in reality.

  "At first it was working fine. Nico basically ran errands for the old man, and sometimes he'd trust them to me. But then things changed. Nico decided he'd be better with his own piece of the action. He approached his father, but Anthony turned him down. So Nico decided if he couldn't get a share the easy way, he'd slice it off in bits and pieces."

  "He was stealing from his father?"

  "In a manner of speaking." Connor nodded. "At first it was just petty stuff. A grand here or there. But then Nico decided to use the old man's connections to start a little drug trafficking."

  "And you and Andy were in the thick of it."

  "Yeah." He nodded again. "Not exactly something you want to bring home to the dinner table."

  "It's what you do, Connor. Not who you are."

  "Sometimes it's not so clear, Jen." His fingers tightened on hers. "Anyway, the job was going nowhere fast. The further Nico delved into his own business, the farther he moved from his father. And since Anthony was the primary goal, it seemed pointless to continue the work. I was the ranking officer on the case, so I made the decision to walk, but Andy didn't want to. At the time, I just thought he was obsessed with getting the old man. And he was my friend, so I told him we'd wait. But something felt off."

  "Andy was working with Nico."

  Connor nodded. "It took me a while to find out for sure. And even then, I didn't want to believe it. But he was definitely in league with Nico."

  "It couldn't have just been part of his undercover role?" She wasn't sure why she asked the question—some misguided attempt to clear Andy, she supposed.

  "No. I'd have known about it if it was. Anyway, I started doing a little of my own investigating, and found out that Andy'd given me up. Nico was just waiting for the right time to take me out."

  "So why didn't you go back to your department with the information?"

  "Two reasons. First off, I was pretty sure Nico and Andy had set me up to take the fall should the shit ever hit the fan. Second, I wasn't—still am not—certain how high up the ladder the conspiracy goes. But I'm fairly sure it's not just Andy. So what I needed was solid proof, something that tied Andy to Nico, and Nico to the drugs. And I needed time to figure out who else in the department was involved."

  "But you didn't have time, because this Nico person was gunning for you."

  "Yeah."

  "And this was around last Christmas, I'm betting."

  He frowned, studying her face.

  "I'm not stupid, Connor. That's when you really started to put distance between us. You didn't want me caught in the cross fire."

  "Fat lot of good it did."

  She allowed herself a small smile. "We've already covered that. New chapter, remember?"

  "Right." He sighed. "So I worked like hell to try to get things together, but Andy was getting more and more suspicious."

  "So why didn't he try to cut you in on the action? I mean, you were friends."

  "He knew better. God, if I had a dollar for every time I pontificated on that very fact. No, he knew I wasn't going to be tempted by money. The only way he was going to come out of this in one piece is if I was taken out of the equation and got blamed for any fallout."

  "So you beat him to the punch."

  "Exactly." He shot her an admiring look. "I figured that with me dead, there’d be plenty of time to gather the information I needed. Of course, it meant hurting the people I loved. But then, I'd already done a pretty good job of that."

  "So why not add death to the picture?" She tried for a light tone, but missed by a mile.

  He tilted her chin with a finger, his eyes dark with regret. "I love you, Jen. You have to know that I'd never have hurt you like that if I hadn't thought it absolutely necessary"

  She nodded, not sure if she really believed him, but she wanted to. And despite the difference, it was enough—for now. "So how did you do it? They found DNA at the scene."

  "You can't work undercover with the kind of lowlifes I do without picking up a few pointers here and there. A couple years back, I worked with an arsonist. Suffice it to say, I learned some of the tricks of the trade."

  "And so you were dead."

  "And everyone's problems were solved. So to speak. I waited to see if maybe Andy would use the opportunity to frame me, but with me out of the picture his motive to do so evidently evaporated and it was business as usual."

  "Except that you were watching."

  "Exactly. And gathering information. I had almost everything I needed. But then Nico's father started sniffing around Nico's business. The old man isn't opposed to much of anything when it comes to making money. But he's ol
d-school when it comes to drugs. And he won't tolerate any trafficking done under the umbrella of his organization."

  "And Nico had been doing just that."

  "Yeah. So suddenly Nico is paranoid as hell and looking for a way to cover his tracks. He confronts Andy about me. And the two of them start to worry that maybe I left something behind. Something that would incriminate them."

  "That's why they were searching the apartment."

  Connor nodded.

  "Was there anything?"

  "Unfortunately there was. A disk. It was a compilation of documents and recordings. Not enough to sink the ship, but enough to put a sizable hole in it."

  "And enough to kill for." Jenny shuddered. "And now they've got it."

  "Would appear so. When I went up there, I couldn't find it."

  "Where was it?"

  Connor ducked his head, his cheeks turning red. "I, ah, sealed it in the envelope the divorce papers came in."

  "Oh, my God." She pulled her hand away, standing up to reach for her purse.

  "Jen, I'm sorry. I know it seems like I trivialized the matter; it's just that it seemed like a safe place."

  "It's not that, Connor, honestly" She laughed, the sound high-pitched, not at all natural. "It’s just that, I've got it." She pulled the battered envelope from her purse with a flourish. "I've had it all along. I'm not sure why I took it, really. It was just sitting there, mocking me. And Judy Garland was on the radio, and .. " She sank back onto the bed, suddenly exhausted.

  His arms closed around her in an instant, and he pulled her close. "It's all right, sweetheart, let it out. You've been through a hell of a lot."

  "No," she mumbled, pulling away, holding out the envelope. "There's no time for that. We've got to do something with this." She held his gaze, sucking in air as if it were in short supply. "It's time for those bastards to pay"

  Connor's eyes went wide, and then he laughed, the sound freeing in a way she couldn't explain. He took the envelope, then reached for her hands, his gaze warm with approval. "I love you, Jenny Fitzgerald. Whatever happens, never doubt that."

  She nodded, reveling in the fact that, at least for the moment, they were in this together. Just the two of them against the world. "So what do we do now?"